You may be the person who does it all and seem to have it all at work. Your friends admire you and you feel in charge – until you open the door to your own home. Sometimes, you may feel like going back to the office or being with grownups rather than your out-of-control kids.
If you have small children, they may balk at going to bed at a certain time or eating what’s on their plates. You may think it’s easier to simply give in to their whims rather than face the chaos that’s sure to follow when you enforce the rules.
Teens may become disrespectful by rolling their eyes, disobeying you by pushing the limits on curfews and other limits. If you’ve set soft boundaries for yourself, they may be able to manipulate you to get their way.
As with other boundaries you set with friends, family, spouse and coworkers, it’s important that you think the boundaries through before you begin enforcing them. Having a plan rather than going in helter-skelter is always best.
Whether you’re dealing with small children or older ones, the following tips are good to think about when planning to set and enforce boundaries:
Don’t use anger or shouting. This is so important to remember when dealing with children. When your demeanor causes alarm in children, they’re likely to tune you out and not hear a thing you say – much less be ready to comply.
Be firm and direct. Rather than using confusing statements such as, I don’t think you should do that, use a statement such as, I don’t want to see that behavior from you again. Also, check your body language and tone of voice during the boundary setting meeting with the child.
Make sure you stick to your decisions. If you’re firm one minute and wishy-washy the next, the child will only be confused. When you stay consistent with the boundaries you set for your children, they always know exactly where they stand.
After you set the boundary, expect backlash. Explain the boundary one time – and one time only. Don’t belabor the point, because you’ll only end up getting angry. Be sure to give a good reason for the boundary so they will understand – even if they keep trying to break you down. You need to take good care of yourself if you’re a parent. It makes sense that if you’re tired and a ball of nerves, you’re going to deal with your children accordingly.
Think things through and always shoot for ending the boundary setting session with mutual respect and not a do as I say session – especially when you’re dealing with teens.
Above all, stay emotionally connected to your kids and have fun with them.
Eva Gregory is a Law of Attraction expert, speaker, author and mentor to spiritual entrepreneurs – coaches, healers and holistic practitioners. Her passion is helping spiritual entrepreneurs go from chaos to clarity, and from clarity to cash flow by learning how to tap into their own inner guidance and merge it with proven practical business strategies to create enlightened businesses of purpose, passion and prosperity. She is author of “The Feel Good Guide to Prosperity” and “Life Lessons For Mastering the Law of Attraction” co-authored with Jack Canfield. Get your FREE REPORT, “Massive Success For Spiritual Entrepreneurs” here. Learn more about how Eva can help you at www.EvaGregory.com
